Tonight
by littlesheep
Summary: Too much work and not enough sleep can cause an unexpected outbreak of emotions. Now Mac has to figure the real reason for it. Of course very SMacked! Completed [StellaMac]
1. Chapter 1

Well, this one is my very first finished story (just didn't post it as first release) – **it's my "baby" – please be nice ;-)**

I hope the alerts are still working – I've been waiting with this, I didn't want it to get lost…

Characters' thoughts and song lyrics are in _Italics_ – the song is "Tonight" from Reamonn. Highly recommended! It's a beautiful ballad which supports the atmosphere of the story perfectly. And the lyrics are just great – especially at the end of this chapter. Couldn't have said it better.

**Disclaimer**: All the original characters belong to their owners - except for Mac. **Mac belongs to Stella**.

**Please read and review – thanks!**

Chapter 1

The noise of a slammed door in the locker room caught Mac's attention while he was on the way to his office. He turned around. Before he even reached the door, he knew who he was going to find inside.

"What did that poor locker door do to you?" he asked, leaning against the door frame, ready to hide behind it in case of flying objects coming in his direction.

"It was available," Stella replied short-spoken.

"Wanna talk about it?" he asked carefully, aware of the imminent danger. She didn't say anything. Good or bad sign? He wasn't sure yet.

"Do you believe I didn't notice you tried to avoid me recently?" she suddenly burst out, trying to keep her emotions from showing in her voice.

Mac's eyes widened in surprise. What?!? THIS was not what he expected. While he feverishly tried to figure out how to react. Stella scowled at him, waiting for a reaction. After a few seconds, she lost her non-existent patience.

"Look, Mac. I'm sorry to bother you with this, but some people actually do have human feelings and sometimes these feelings are for their fellow men. I know YOU are perfect in controlling or even avoiding such feelings, but let me tell you, others might not be as perfect as you. Unfortunately it's a common human weakness not to be able to control feelings for others. You can do it? Fine. But don't expect that from others. That's not fair. You think it's easy for me to be around you all day? Day by day for years, providing support and backup whenever you needed it, always careful not to get too close in order to respect your ... feelings," sarcasm evident in her voice when she spoke out the last word. "This wasn't easy for me, but I realized a long time ago that this was the only possible way to handle the situation. I didn't want this to happen, but some things you can't plan. I know you don't feel the same. That's fine with me, I can handle that. It never did have an effect on my work and it never will. It's my problem, just don't care about it."

With this, she slammed the locker door once more after throwing her bag into it and thrust past him through the locker room door, leaving him dumbfounded, still leaning against the doorframe.

Mac couldn't believe what he just heard. No one he'd ever met could mess with his head like Stella. She'd been doing it since the day they met even though she never did it on purpose. She just had something that always made him … what? Nervous?

And did she just tell him she had feelings for him? They had always been close, just like she said she had always been there for him when he needed her. He never seriously thought about it as anything else but friendship. Closer than colleagues certainly, but...

_She never took the train alone  
She hated being on her own_

_She always took me by the hands  
And said she needs me_

He sighed deeply while rolling his eyes. Not a chance to resist her... This woman would definitely be his end. But didn't someone once say that every end is a new beginning? His mind started wandering. He never thought about this option, but coming up with it now he had to admit that it wasn't the worst thought he ever had.

_I gotta go find her!_ _We need to talk. Or better **I** need to talk, she already did... _he said to himself and turned around to go after her.

On the way to her office, he reflected hundreds of ways to start this conversation that he never thought would ever happen. When he finally reached her door and spotted her behind her desk, everything was lost. He slowly entered the room, closing the door behind him.

"We have to talk. And this time...," he looked into her eyes, trying to read them, "let ME talk, please."

Stella briefly closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The short way from the locker room to her office had been enough to let her realize what she had just said to him and now she was trapped in a mixture of embarrassment about her outburst and fear for his reaction on her words.

"Mac..." she started, ignoring his request, "I never intended to get personally involved with someone at work. Anyone. I always followed this motto, all my life. No relationship with anyone in high school or college, not at work, nothing. It always worked. Just maybe there was never a challenge to it..."

"And now there is?" he softly asked.

Stella slightly shrugged and inhaled another shaking breath, her lips pressed together. She blinked. She swore to herself that she wouldn't start crying over this. Not in front of him, not here. "I don't know...," she whispered barely hearable. She didn't plan it this way, everything went wrong here. At the moment, she was just afraid to push him into something that he couldn't deal with. That he would feel obliged to do something without having the time to think about it, just to make her feel better.

She was sure about her own feelings, she was for years now. But she didn't want to let him know, she was torn between rejecting her own feelings to let him back out and on the other hand trying to convince him to have confidence in life again.

And there was something else that was gnawing on her, something she knew would be a heavy burden on anything.

_She never wanted love to fail  
She always hoped that it was real_

_She'd look me in the eyes and said 'believe me'  
_

Mac walked around the desk and kneeled down at her left side. He slowly took her left hand into his and looked up at her.

"There is no security on this earth, only opportunity - Douglas MacArthur," he quietly said.

"Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the Ark - professionals built the Titanic – Stella Bonasera," she returned immediately, surprised by his behavior which suddenly gave her back some of the desire to make him happy again.

She had been working 16-hour-days the whole week, hardly any sleep, not to talk about regular meals. All this had made her extremely sensitive to anything, up to the point where she had the feeling Mac would deliberately try to avoid her which she realized now was most likely an unfounded overreaction from her side.

Mac chuckled. She was truly amazing and unpredictable. She always found the right thing to say to make him feel good without even thinking about it, despite her own emotional state.

"Just follow your heart, Mac. Some things just happen the way they're supposed to. And sometimes there's just nothing you can – or should – do about it."

Stella couldn't think straight anymore. She was tired and exhausted, all doubts and logical thinking got more and more blurry. There were still these doubts, but something deep inside wanted to move on with this, trying out his reactions. And it felt good to have him so close to her, holding her left hand in his while softly stroking it the whole time.

A rapping interrupted them. They looked up as Danny poked his head through the open door.

"Sorry to interrupt you guys," Danny apologized, wondering briefly what Mac was doing on the floor next to Stella's chair, "we got results from DNA, you said you wanted to know a.s.a.p." He closed the door again without waiting for a reaction, not wanting to interrupt whatever was going on in there any longer.

Mac got up and glanced at Stella with a questioning look.

"Right behind you!" she cleared her throat and tried to sort her thoughts while she followed Mac to the lab room.

XXXXX

Stella turned her computer off with a sigh. What a day... She took her purse and left her office.

"Going home?" Mac asked from his door. She looked over, noticing that he was also wearing his coat.

"Yeah, it's been quite a day today..."

He nodded. "Pretty deserted here already, hum? I'm gonna walk you to your car, okay? I just need to do something first...," he said, suddenly having an idea.

"Okay, I'll get my stuff from the locker, meet you at the elevator…" Stella replied. She walked along the corridor to the locker room and took her cell phone from her belt to put it in her bag when a beep informed her about an incoming message. "Oh come on… Gimme a break!" she rolled her eyes with a desperate sigh and took the phone out again.

After a look at the display, she raised her eyebrows in surprise.

_Text message received from Mac Taylor – wanna read it now?_

A little hesitant, she hit the _OK_ button.

_Dinner :-?_

Stella grinned. No need to make many words here, she figured. She leaned against her locker and quickly typed a reply.

_**:-)**_

Then she went back to the corridor. From her point, she could see Mac in front of his office, nervously handling his phone when the alert went off. He checked the display and hit a few keys. Stella smiled as she saw his face brightening up. Maybe this day could become a good one after all...

XXXXX

Mac woke up slowly. It took him only a second to remember where he was, a smile played across his lips as he turned around to his left.

"Good morning..."

She was sitting with her back leaning against the headboard and starred at the opposite wall with a distanced look. This was not what he had expected. He sat up nervously.

"What? What is it?"

"Mac..." she started in a tone that rapidly increased his concern. He quickly put a finger on her lips to stop her.

"Don't. Just...don't."

"I'm sorry," she said in a small voice.

He started feeling a lump growing in his throat. What was going on here?

_And then the night becomes the day  
And there's nothing left to say  
If there's nothing left to say  
Then something's wrong_

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks SO much everyone – all you guys for reviewing and to the webmasters for fixing the alert system :-) Of course I continue this and yes, there is a next chapter coming up (see below – ggg). When I start posting a story, it's usually already completed – the only exception to this rule will start soon. So no worries about starting a story that will never be finished ;-) And: All my stories are happy – at least in the end they are – promise!

**Please read and review, thanks!**

Chapter 2

"Come on," she started again, quietly, pleadingly. "You know this will make things ... complicated."

He shook his head. "Don't speak for me, Stel. Yes, it might be complicated. But only if we make it so. Do you really think it would be a mistake to move on with this? With us? Do you ... regret what happened between us?" He looked around the room in search of words, suddenly he was scared that everything special between them was destroyed because of one night.

One special night...

What had happened between them had been amazing, he never experienced something as deep, intense, emotional, so full of blind and unlimited trust. Never thought something like this could ever happen to him again after what he had lost. Never expected the next morning to start like this.

When she had fallen asleep, curled up in his arms, he had felt like the happiest man on earth. He knew he was. It hadn't been necessary to sleep with each other right away even though he had the feeling both of them would have loved to do it. But he wanted their first time to be something very special, not just the final result of what he considered an extremely emotionally confusing day. He didn't wanna take advantage of her in any way and he knew he hadn't.

But yet, what if things still went too fast, what if she wasn't ready yet, what if she regretted having gone even this far and wanted to back out, what if she thought he wasn't ready and just wanted to try to make it easy for him to back out, what if...

This was driving him crazy. He needed to know...

"Stella?" he silently asked, afraid of the answer, desperately hoping that she wouldn't push him back now. He realized that this would be something he wouldn't be able to handle.

Not now anymore...

_Ohhh tonight, you killed me with your smile  
So beautiful and wild - so beautiful  
Oh tonight, you killed me with your smile  
So beautiful and wild - so beautiful and wild  
_

He gazed into her eyes, seeing the battle raging in her mind. They were only inches apart... staring... both afraid of the other one's next move.

"Mac..." she choked out. His eyes softened when he saw tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Hey there..., why are you crying?"

She couldn't give him an answer... Too many things happened the past years, weeks, the past night. Being so close to him, feeling the touch of his hands, his lips exploring her body, his breath against her neck felt so incredible that she was still shivering, just thinking about it. She could feel him longing for her with every inch of his body and mind and yet he was so gentle and careful, willing to show her she could trust him unconditionally.

Too many things went on in her thoughts, things she couldn't tell him. When she said nothing, Mac became concerned. He moved closer to her side, if that was even possible. He figured that either he would let her come up with something or just make the decision for her.

"I won't leave you like this, I know it's not what you want," he whispered, wiping some tears from her cheeks while observing her reaction on his words. Stella sniffled and placed her hands over his as he gently cupped her face.

Her eyes looked serious, mixed with a little guilt. "Mac, I'm so sorry..." she whispered tearfully.

"Sh-sh... don't, it's okay..." he comforted her. He still didn't know what had upset her so much, but he was now pretty much convinced that she didn't regret anything.

Secretly praying that he wasn't completely wrong, he leaned in closer and closed her mouth with his lips. For a moment he could feel her tense up as if she wanted to fight him off. Then she suddenly started responding to the movement of his lips. He pulled her closer, never wanted to let her go again. The kiss turned into a mixture of longing, desire ... and electricity.

**BRRRRRRRRRRRRNG!**

With a heartfelt groan, Stella broke the kiss and turned around to grab her alarm clock - a ball-like item, about the size of a baseball, covered with stuffed material – and smashed it against the wall across the room. A muffled, indignant "Ouch!" was heard from the ball when it hit the wall, then it rolled over the bedroom floor and remained silent. Stella turned back to Mac, who was watching the scene with amusement, with an apologetic smile.

"Only appropriate way to react on an alarm clock early in the mornings... I know you don't want me to say 'sorry' again, but I'm afraid we have to get up. Work is calling..."

"Let's call in sick," he offered. Stella gave him a suspicious look.

"Both of us the same day? Very unsuspicious! I wonder what the boss would say to that??" she teased him.

"Oh, I thought your boss is a very nice man, I'm sure he would understand," he replied with a smile.

"Uhum..." she smiled back. "You wanna shower first, I'm gonna make us some coffee..."

She turned to get out of bed when he grabbed her right arm, holding her back.

"Everything good now?" he asked. She nodded with a light smile and leaned over to brush a soft kiss on his lips before she went into the kitchen.

Mac leaned back for a second, not convinced that everything was in order. Something was still distressing her, something she wouldn't tell him yet.

_We're gonna work it out – no matter what it is,_ he figured before he went to the bathroom for a quick shower.

XXXXX

"Crime of passion..." Stella thought aloud when they arrived at the crime scene and took a first look at the situation.

"You think a woman could have done this?" Mac wondered, looking around in the messed up room.

"Yeah...," she took a closer look at the victim. A white male, in his forties. Around his neck they found a scarf, tightly pulled together, the whole upper torso slit open with countless deep cuts.

"Without a doubt," she added after a look at the mess in the lower region of the victim's body, covered by a sheet.

Mac gave her a suspicious look.

"Should I get worried?"

"Not funny, Mac..."

XXXXX

"Anyone here?" Danny asked, looking into the lab room.

"Just me – and my shadow..." Stella replied from behind the table, currently kneeling on the floor, looking for something in the cabinet. She glanced over to Mac who was following her every step for a while already. He wasn't sure himself why, somehow he had the feeling he needed to make sure she was doing fine.

"Hum?" Danny wondered.

"Never mind... What is it, Danny?"

"I just asked Chad about the results you wanted to have. He said you didn't tell him to run the extra test for chemicals on the stomach content of the stab victim..." She rolled her eyes and sighed.

"No, but I also didn't tell him to breathe and he does it nevertheless..."

Danny shrugged and left again while Mac wondered once again what was going on in her mind. The only thing he could tell for sure was that something was bugging her – and unfortunately he was just as sure that it had to do with him.

XXXXX

"Hello?!?" Stella rolled her eyes.

She could understand that Mac was distracted after what happened last night and most likely even more after what happened this morning, but now his behavior got more and more strange. First, he followed her every step, just like a bird mother who was afraid because her baby hopped out of the nest for the first time and was now climbing around in the tree. And now? No reaction.

"MAC! Earth to space shuttle... come in please!" she tried a bit louder, getting closer to him.

"Hum?!" he suddenly looked up, as if he only noticed her presence now. She rolled her eyes with a sigh.

"Physical and mental presence don't always go along with each other, hum? I asked you three times if we should wait for the extra test results for this evening or if we go on with that tomorrow and go back to the crime scene this afternoon. Where are you today?"

"Sorry, I was thinking..."

Then he suddenly jumped up. Stella looked at him in surprise.

"We're gonna leave now. Danny can work on the test results about the stomach content, Flack will go to the crime scene to talk to the neighbors again," he announced. Stella narrowed her eyes.

"And we are...?"

"...joyriding," he finished the sentence.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Hope you like the emotional way the story goes. The place they go to probably only exists in my imagination, I've never been there myself ;-)

Thanks mj and mandi for your sweet comments!

Please read and review, thanks :-)

Chapter 3

Stella's eyes widened again. Up until now, she wasn't even aware that Mac would have a word like 'joyriding' in his vocabulary.

"What..." she made an attempt to spy out some details, but he stopped her right away.

"It's a surprise," he simply stated while he quickly cleaned his work place.

"Huh."

XXXXX

Reluctantly, but also with a large amount of curiosity, she also packed up her stuff and followed him out of the lab room. She didn't like not knowing what was awaiting her, so she started to try figuring out Mac's plans, where he wanted to take her.

While they walked along the corridor, Mac made a call to Flack and instructed him to interview the neighbors of the stab victim. At the elevator, they met Danny.

"Danny, you go work on the results of the tox screen on the stomach content, call Flack if anything unusual shows up, he will be interviewing the neighbors later. Anything suspicious, call Judge Green and get a warrant, meet with Flack at the scene," Mac instructed him.

"And you will be..." Danny replied.

"...out for now," Mac confirmed. "No calls – unless the lab is on fire," he added. Danny nodded a bit confused. The usual announcement in such cases would always be 'Call me 24/7'.

"Yeah, sure. No problem, Mac. Will do. When...?"

"We'll be back soon, I think you can get along without a babysitter for a while," Mac winked at him, gently shuffling Stella into the open elevator.

"Yeah... alright..." Danny mumbled towards the already closed door.

_What the hell was going on here?_

XXXXX

"Relax! You're gonna get a headache when you frown so strenuously over a long time," Mac teased Stella who sat in the passenger seat beside him, still concentrated on the possible destination of their trip.

"You're not gonna tell me where we're going, hum?" she looked over to him.

He smiled without taking his eyes off the street.

"How long will we be away? Don't we have to stop, pick up some things, tell people where we go...? Mac! This is kidnapping!" she exclaimed in feigned indignation.

His smile turned into a chuckle.

"To answer your questions: No, you will see and no. And as for the last accusation: You got into this car voluntarily, that's not kidnapping. And for the record: You ask too many questions. Just trust me, will you? Let me surprise you. I promise: No danger involved."

Stella looked back to the street in front of them, leading them out of the city, lost in her thoughts, alone with her unanswered questions – a mixture of curiosity, excitement and nervousness meddled around in her stomach.

What was he intending?

XXXXX

After a long ride, Mac parked the car at a parking lot that looked a little like a rest area. There were only two other cars there, but no people around. Big trees surrounded the place and Stella could see several ways leading away from here, disappearing between green and blooming bushes.

Mac unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car while she remained in her seat without moving. When he noticed that she didn't get out, he went over to her side and opened the door.

"You might wanna get out, this parking lot isn't really such a big attraction, although it's a really nice one..." he mocked.

He guided her along the smallest of the ways leading directly straight into the woods. They walked for a short moment, then he made a short right turn through some bushes.

"Will we need bushwhackers?" Stella called while she tried to follow him. Then she became silent. Coming out of the green belt, they were now standing on a small sand beach at a beautiful lake, the silent water surface shimmering in the evening sun.

"Wow! This is ... beautiful..."

Mac quietly smiled to himself. In this moment, he knew he had made the right decision.

_And as the hands would turn with time  
She'd always say that she was my mine  
She'd turn and lend a smile  
To say that she's gone  
_

XXXXX

Stella didn't notice that he became very pensive and quiet, she just enjoyed the beauty of nature. They walked along the small beach for a while without saying a word. Then Mac stopped and just looked out over the water. She followed his eyes, seeing the sun being reflected on the surface while a group of ducks silently crossed the mirrored image.

He led her to a little place nearby where they sat down, then he carefully took her right hand. Stella suddenly realized that he didn't say a word since they arrived and all of a sudden she had a suspicion. Mac wasn't the biggest talker on earth, but she knew him well enough that when he got this silent, there was something more behind it.

"Have you been here a lot?" she softly asked.

He silently nodded, his lips pressed together. Now Stella also became pensive, feeling what this trip was about. She knew this was a turning point in their relationship. With a yet unknown direction...

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Okay, here comes the final chapter on this one. Thanks mj, already told you I love your reviews ;-) And mandi – as I said, your guess was in the right direction, just that this is Stella's part of the story (you'll know what I mean after you read the chapter and rechecked your last review). And YES – that would definitely be the best episode ever :-)

Chapter 4

"Claire loved this place …" he suddenly said, looking around, but avoiding looking at her.

Stella carefully put her left hand over his, softly pressing it to let him know everything was okay. When he looked over to her, he noticed a little tear rolling down her cheek.

"Hey there… what's wrong?" he asked concerned.

_But in a whisper she'd arrive  
And danced into my life  
Like a music melody  
Like a lovers' song_

She slightly shook her head with a smile. "Nothing… You – you took me to Claire's favorite spot?" she asked in disbelief, unable to hide her emotion. He smiled back.

"I knew you would love it, too." "I do," she replied quietly.

"I really do. It's ... so beautiful here, I didn't know that there are such beautiful places around here." He got up, pulling her with him since he was still holding her hand.

"Come on, there's something else I need to show you," he mysteriously said.

Stella followed him, her eyes filled with tears. She was so moved by his unexpected open behavior and she wasn't sure if she could take any more surprises of this kind. He smiled reassuringly and guided her along the beach until they reached a little hut.

"Come on!" he said, noticing her hesitation. She gave him a questioning look. "Well, let's just say, someone owes me a favor…" he explained while he reached for the key.

They entered the little hut which had just one room with a little couch and an armchair, an old oven and a bed. The wall opposite had a little window, another one next to the door. Stella looked around the little place, it looked comfortable and clean. Then she turned back to Mac again. He gave her a soft smile, noticing her unspoken question.

"This hut was only built two years ago…" She nodded silently and closed her eyes.

___Oh tonight you killed me with your smile  
So beautiful and wild so beautiful  
Oh tonight you killed me with your smile  
So beautiful and wild so beautiful and wild  
_

"I'm a lucky girl..." she smiled with tears in her eyes.

Mac shook his head. "I'm the lucky one here. Four years ago, I thought my life was over, everything I lived for was taken from me. But then somewhere up there," he looked upwards with a smile, "somebody sent me an angel."

"I'm an idiot. I feel so horrible..." Stella whispered, her voice muffled by a lump in her throat.

"No, you are not. I can understand what you must feel and I'm the one who should feel horrible for letting you go through this for so long. This is all my fault, I know you couldn't feel any different than you did, I didn't do anything to let you know..." he took a deep breath.

"First I didn't notice it and when I did, I couldn't believe you would seriously have any personal interest – besides being a close friend – in someone like me. Let me finish!" he interrupted her attempted objection about his last comment.

"And then... The other night it was so amazing, it just felt so right with us – and I didn't think for a second that there might still be unanswered questions, doubts, things we might need to clear up before moving on. It felt so good just to be close to you. I'm so sorry, Stella... . You have no reason to feel horrible, I know you are not jealous. I know you were concerned about my feelings for Claire and how I would be able to deal with them when trying to start something new and regarding my behavior all these years, I can't blame you. I shouldn't have left you alone with this, we should have talked about it. You just didn't know..."

___Through the darkest night  
Comes the brightest light  
And the light that shines  
Is deep inside  
It's who you are  
_

Stella lowered her gaze, she felt caught, he knew exactly what she had been thinking. The whole day he had spent figuring out why she acted so strange in the morning and came up with this wonderful scenario to show her she had no reason to worry.

"I feel so stupid..." she whispered barely hearable.

"Shsh..." he put a finger over her lips and pulled her closer to him. "You know that I will never forget Claire and that there will always be a place in my heart for her. But you have absolutely no reason to worry about feeling like a substitute or coming in second place, do you understand me?"

Then he moved his hand under her chin, making her look at him. With his other hand, he softly wiped away some tears before closing her lips with his until he felt her relax in his arms.

After a long, tender kiss, he carefully pulled away and looked into her eyes. The last 12 hours since they woke up together wouldn't have been necessary the way they happened.

"Do you still want me...?" he hesitantly asked.

"As long as you want me…" she timidly smiled at him, leaning in for another long and deep kiss while she softly pulled him down to the bed.

___Oh tonight you killed me with your smile  
So beautiful and wild so beautiful  
Oh tonight you killed me with your smile  
So beautiful and wild so beautiful …beautiful_

The End


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